Jeremy Whaley: Marion screaming at Helen, "Geroff him, I saw him first!"


Zak Walker: "Now, I'm sure I had a saddle flask on here somewhere"

Jeremy Whaley: Avoiding the usual "Does my bum look big in this!" - "Everyone hunting with the SDB must be able to perform 'Round The World' at a canter


Zak Walker: Order another straight jacket, he's pulled the arms off this one.

Emma Whale: Here is Jeremy, not quite dressed for hunting. Note he hasn't screwed his prosthetic feet on yet.

Jeremy Whaley: "It wasn't me!"


Nick Hudson: The South Downs Bloodhounds take rider safety very seriously:  here a volunteer tests a prototype ejection seat.

Jeremy Whaley: Eeeek! A mouse!!!


Diane Miles: To field or to quarry, field or quarry.... Amy was feeling indecisive that morning

Jeremy Whaley: All day, Amy had a nagging feeling that she had forgotten something when she set off hunting that morning!


Diane Miles: Off to the naughty step again!!

Jenny Scivier: ‘Put me down lad, can’t you see my coat is slipping over my ears’!

Nick Hudson: Well done son - send him off with Bertha and Bridget.  More bacon to sell to the SDB - they've never noticed the difference!

Jeremy Whaley:  'ere mum, look what I got for supper!


Jules Jordan: Hound is saying "crap! He ate all the cake...... again!!!"

Nick Hudson: Jeremy - "Nick, do you know that you took completely the wrong route on that last hunt?" Nick - "No,  but if you hum the tune I'll soon pick it up!"

Jeremy Whaley:The hound is saying, "for Christ's sake, shut up!" (or words to that effect)


Nick Hudson: Whale washed up in west country waterway.

Jeremy Whaley: Source of River Avon found!


Nick Hudson: Quarries have their own semaphore system to communicate with the Huntsman: this signal spells out "Your Map is Confusing and Ambiguous"

Jeremy Whaley: The Quarries' synchronised warm up exercises got off to a tricky start!

Chelsea Sait: Here we have The Village People.....or The Village Idiots?

Diane Miles: Quarries sign language for;   Large Glass Of Port

Jeremy Whaley: "Young, Manly, Clever, Athletic"...... four words that cannot be used to describe our Quarries that day!


Jeremy Whaley: Chelsea had enjoyed the Karioke the night before hunting, but it had left her a little horse!

Jeremy Whaley: I'm not saying Chelsea is a hard rider, but this horse was 16.2hh when she got on it!


Nick Hudson: "Jeremy never exaggerates the size of things between his legs" [Border line inclusion. Ed]

Kate Barnes: Shouldn't have put it on the hot wash , dam it !

Jeremy Whaley: The recession has forced severe reductions on the hunt!


Jeremy Whaley: Initially, Topsy had thought a "bring your father out hunting day" was a good idea......

Jeremy Whaley: Topsy, on his way to see the doctor about an irritating lump on his back!

Nick Hudson: Nick spares no effort in making sure that the quarries are kept fit and well exercised.

Kate Kelk: Is this the descent from Brokeback Mountain?

Jeremy Whaley: Topsy saying - "Come on Nick, it's my turn to be Jeremy and your turn to be Impy!"


Nick Hudson: Ever since falling off at Broomfield, Jeremy had suffered from double vision.

Jeremy Whaley: Professors Hebard and Mears have achieved significant progress in their cloning experiments!


Nick Hudson: Badger:  "If anyone else says 'a dog takes after his Master' they'll hear from my libel lawyer!"

Jeremy Whaley: Nick's new aftershave "eau de cocaine" was a big hit with the hounds!

Marion Allaway: "The chilli gin has gone to my legs."

Jeremy Whaley: It was a valiant effort, but sadly Badger could only come a creditable second to Stephen Kelk in the Gurning While Jumping competition! (See CC 20)


Hugh Green: Steven Spielberg (from behind the camera) - "Cut ............ Right, that's it Whaley you're off the picture.  Get me Cumberbatch - he may not have the craggy old man's looks I'm after but at least he knows how to ride a horse."

Jeremy Whaley: The Master's day was going from bad to nurse!

Julia Jordan: Impy cannot believe the lengths he has to go to to get some time off !!

Alexa Mason: "Ware hound!"

Nick Hudson: (1) This is the way the ladies ride trip trot, trit trot trip trot 
This is the way the gentlemen ride gallup gallup gallup
This is the way the old man rides. Hobble-dee hobble-dee And down in a ditch

(2) Hound speaking:  Doctor,  Surgeon -  we need you both now!

Marian Allaway: "Stephen, I think there's a shilling down there, I will get it."

Jeremy Whaley: Stephen Kelk MBH (smiling in the background) educated at Hogwarts, pointed his whip at Jeremy and shouted "expelliarmus"!


Mike Baker: In National Hunt Racing this is known as "Calling for a cab"

Hugh Green: Jeremy tried that with both hands the other day and he's still in plaster!

Sian Mears: Is it a bird,is a plane, No its Super Jack.......best whipper in this side of Hampshire.

Marion Allaway: "I believe I can fly!"

Chelsea Sait: Jack feels like a real aeroplane when jumping on his horse.

Jeremy Whaley: "No, no, no, I want to go that way!"


Stephen Kelk: Ginger (nose just in shot) to Impey: "Brace yourself Impey!!!  He's having another go."

Mel Attwood: The hounds never tired of the sight of their Master without a mounting block!

Fran Baker: Hounds -  “This should be a laugh”

Jeremy Whaley: Like a gazelle, one graceful bound and the Master was in the saddle.


Jeremy Whaley: "Er, Kate.............I fink I got it wrong again! "

Jeremy Whaley: No horses or hounds were harmed in the taking of this picture. The rider? Who cares!!


Jeremy Whaley: When Nick came round from a coma, in intensive care, he really couldn't remember saying "Brace yourself Virgil!"


Nick Hudson: Minky:  "If this doesn't kill me then Mummy will..."

Jeremy Whaley: Minky Kelk Speaking, "Well.......this is how Daddy does it."


Jeremy Whaley: Chris thought he'd pulled a nice filly at the Ball, but boy was he in for a shock when he got "her" back to the stable!


Jeremy Whaley: Sharon's idea of wearing a bikini while taking pictures, to make people smile, doesn't appear to be working!

Tanya Salzer: Stephen's face was a picture after seeing Kate's credit card bill! But the cost of Minky's phone bill was enough to throw himself on the floor!

Jeremy Whaley: After making a mess of the first jump Kate shouted, "Stephen, sit up and look confident." Well, one out of two isn't bad!

Jeremy Whaley: After watching stunt man Guido, at the Rockin Horse Stunt Show, Stephen Kelk MBH was heard to shout, "Anything Guido can do, I can do better!"


Nick Hudson: Onlooker - "I expect it's much safer for Jeremy to hunt the hounds from the back of a car." Nick - "Not when my wife's driving it isn't!"

Kate Kelk, Libby & Minky: "Nick, what's the postcode for the nearest asylum? The dart may wear off at any moment!"

Andy Thayer: "Boxed and ready to go" !!

Jeremy Whaley: "The South Downs Bloodhounds Knacker Wagon"


Sharon Thayer: If the Bloodhounds meet at Hickstead, I am NOT following the field down the Derby Bank (whatever Jeremy's map or satnav says)!!

Lils Ross: Satnav please jeremy!!! (its definetly needed!!)

Kate Kelk: Sharon suddenly remembered where she'd left Andy's Thermos!

Jeremy Whaley: "I bet Jeremy Clarkson's wife doesn't have to do this!"


Jeremy Whaley: "Are we on the right line Nick?"   -  "Don't ask me George, I'm not sure we're even in the right county!"


Jeremy Whaley: Siamese twin donkey racing gets off to a good start.


Kate Kelk:  Is anything worn beneath the kilt or is it all in perfect working order?

Jeremy Whaley: "I've told you before Nick, this is not drag hunting!"



Jeremy Whaley: "I just can't take any more abuse ....Goodbye cruel world!"

Nick Hudson: ".....and this is my impression of Jeremy after his horse refuses before a jump."

Fran Baker: "The Angel of the North has nothing on me!"

Jeremy Whaley: Good job they're making jumps out of steel nowadays!


Nick Hudson: "The Unseatable in pursuit of the Uneatable?" or "I'm bored with horses - can I have a helicopter ride now?"
[Contributed after John Cowper-Coles was carted off from Priors Dean in the air ambulance! Ed.]

Chris Compton: "Oops,, I should have come up the other side."

Jeremy Whaley: After a few too many stirrup cups at the meet - "I love you pony ."


Dominc Hubble: "I know I'm a dentist , but you are supposed to eat it!"

Jeremy Whaley: News Headlines. "Woman loses hand in accident at SDB Clay Shoot."


Jeremy Whaley: " After two weeks, I am delighted to see no-one has dared suggest any rude caption. Obviously my equestrian skill is beyond criticism!"



Jeremy Whaley: "The meet at the assylum was a great success!"
OR "Sales of hunt fleeces are going well, but the positioning of the logo on the hunt knickers seems to be causing some irritation!"

Jeff Lynn: "How does the tea pour out if the little teapot has a spout that shape?"

Fran Baker: "She's nothing to do with us, just ignore her!"


Barbara Roseveare: "oh no, not hunting that visible pantie line again!"

Jeremy Whaley: Hound speaking, "Believe me boys, you do not want to find him!"


Maureen Heasman: "Why were you wearing contact lenses anyway??"

Jeremy Whaley: These Quarries get smaller and smaller!

Adrian Sole: “They did go down here honest Master! You know the quarry is always getting lost!”


Ali Eldridge: There was some confusion when someone shouted "get down" Stanley thought it applied to him not the hounds!!

Derek Eldridge: Stanley spotted a feisty fillie and went weak at the knees.

Jeremy Whaley: Stanley speaking - Oy fat guts, could you move forwards a bit!


There was a huntsman called Whaley
Whose hounds carried tails so gaily
They chased athlete Chris
From Hawkley to Liss
And now he's at the Old Bailey
By Ann Brewer


Trish Appleyard: 'Quick! Grab her ! She's trying to leg it over the other side!'

Jeremy Whaley: "Hang on, I've dropped my arm!" (Gill had a broken arm at the time) Read the full story.


Jeremy Whaley: "Mum said I mustn't pick my nose with my finger!"

Ann Brewer: "That bloody Sara and her superglue!"

Chloe West: "You put your right arm in, You put your right arm out, In out, In out, Shake it all about....."


Helen Vernon:  "How on earth am I going to get down from here?????"

Jeremy Whaley: Hound in front speaking, "Come on fatguts!"

Barbara Roseveare: Hound on jump speaking, "Hey Jeremy, Can I borrow your Parachute?"

Sue Wheeler: "at least i can jump which is more than our huntsman can!" (The Master says his lawyers will be in touch Sue)


Ann Brewer - "When the Master said I would get my leg over more often if I became a Quarry, this was not what I had in mind!"

Jeremy Whaley - "Excuse me sir, could you help me, I've got something caught in the top of this gate?" Gentleman replying, "sorry young man I haven't brought my magnifying glass!"


From Leigh and Kevin Dawes: "(Hound Speaking) - Oh good, meals on wheels has arrived!"

From Chris Lee: "Mummmmm, I told you I am too small to be a quarry!!"

From Mike Baker: "Don't tell him I told you, but its so cold he's got two pairs of long johns on"

From Jeremy Whaley MBH: "(Hound speaking) Can I have some ketchup with this one please"


From Jeremy Whaley MBH: "(Hound speaking) Please Sir, I need a wee!"